Ask Deliberate Questions

Coach Sall

Last week I wrote about the stories we tell ourselves and I’ve had quite a lot of feedback on this. I want you all to know EVERYONE does it, it’s in our nature, what’s important here is to be aware of it and gently call yourself out on it.

Because even if it’s based on previous experience, it doesn’t make it a truth today.

So what can you do about it? 

The reality is your mind might be resistant to thinking differently if this story is one you fall into habitually. These stories are kind of like a safe space for our minds.

If you try to tell yourself to think the complete opposite of whatever it is the voice inside your head is telling you then that voice is likely going to get louder and more persistent.

The trick is to reframe your story and propose that something different could be true. Reframe it into a question and you start to take out the foundation of a repetitive thought pattern that is not serving you.

I got an email this week that gave a perfect example so I’m just going to replicate it here, because often once we have an example of what to do, we can take it into our own experiences and apply it.

The credit for this goes to executive performance coach Julie Gurner on the power of better questions: 

"The questions you ask yourself will largely determine the answers you get.

"Why am I not successful?" You'll get answers that berate you. 

"How can I succeed here?" You'll get answers that push you. 

Be deliberate in the questions you ask yourself."

What deliberate question could you ask yourself this week to give yourself a different experience or outcome?

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